Who Are You?

Your values matter...now, more than ever

Create a ladder of values and priorities in your life, reminding yourself of what really matters to you. – Robert Greene

In last week’s post, I mentioned a few of those big, sticky questions that have been wrestling me as we process these tumultuous days: questions about Love, Good and Evil, Right and Wrong, Forgiveness and Retribution, Uncertainty and Truth. Each of these is a deep exploration in its own right, but at their root, these questions of morality, judgment, action, and reaction come down to one overarching question: who are you? And how will you show up? Or, what are your core values and how do you enact them?

If these past weeks have shown us anything, it’s that we have to take a good, long hard look at our deepest held values – as individuals, as collectives, as nations. For too long, we have been able to slide by with value systems as easily shaken as a trailer home in a hurricane. But not now. These times demand that we define, for ourselves and for others, who we are, what we value and what we will stand for (or not).

I don’t mean that we need to pick sides or publicly proclaim our righteous indignation for all to hear, but we need to get really clear on who we are, what matters to us, and what we are willing to do to embody those values. Our values matter…now, more than ever.

All faith and wisdom traditions are values-based: they define what matters and how we are to act in relationship to those values. Most traditions base their teachings on the upholding of certain laws as defined by that particular God/Gods or teachers, or through ritual acts and practices. But for those of us who are not members of any one tradition, we have to define those values for ourselves. It’s easy to say, “I value compassion,” but you have to go deeper than that. What does compassion actually mean and how is that value embodied in action?

I’ve recently been doing a deep dive into Talmudic studies, as the arguments of the early rabbis sought to define not only Jewish values, but how those values translated into action. It’s fascinating because many of those early legal decisions have profoundly influenced our modern systems of ethics and law. In the Western world, whether we are aware of it or not, early rabbinic law has shaped our cultures and defined what matters in terms of our relationship to ourselves, each other and the sacred. (For an in-depth understanding of just how much Europe and America have been defined by the early rabbis and Jewish law, listen/watch Rabbi Dr. Ari Lamm describe it here).

For those who aren’t familiar with the Talmud, it’s one of the foundational texts of Judaism and a massive document. Over the course of about 500 years from the fall of the Second Temple in 70CE to about 600CE, the early oral and rabbinic tradition of Judaism was collected, written down, and debated by rabbis and scholars. We’re talking 2,711 double-sided pages, an exhaustive compendium exploring theology, law, folklore, storytelling and history. (There are actually two Talmuds: an earlier one called The Jerusalem/Palestinian Talmud is smaller, and a later one called The Babylonian or Bavli is the largest and most commonly used). But sheer volume and density aren’t the Talmud’s only remarkable features.

The way the Talmud is arranged is telling: in the center of each page is a section of the Mishnah, the original oral teachings and legal opinions of the Tannaim, the early rabbis, as well as verses from the Gemara, various other rabbinic commentaries, analyses, legends and stories that apply to that Mishnah. Surrounding that are interpretations and positions of other rabbis over the years and generations, and surrounding THAT is blank space…for OUR interpretation, right here, right now.

(a page of the Talmud)

In other words, the Talmud isn’t just an ancient text, but an open invitation for us to join the sages of old and continue the debate, attempting to interpret and understand what values we hold and why, as well as what is important for us today and how we are to embody those values. The Talmud is a living document, and the compilers/writers understood that while the values and principles it explores are unchanging, how we apply them – and in what specific contexts - is subject to the times we live in.

Here’s how it works: in each case, the rabbis looked at the text and the meaning from many possible angles, even the most extreme or contradictory ones, and offered proofs for their varied interpretations. They not only analyzed the ancient texts for guidance, but also themselves and each other, and imagined how the principles or values expressed might apply in other cases. While majority opinion generally rules in Talmudic debate, there is rarely consensus: that’s not the point. The purpose of these debates is to show that there are many ways to see anything, but there is also an ethical principle that undergirds them and which roots any action or decision. Through their seemingly painstaking, excessively wordy, and sometimes absurdly nitpicky process, the rabbis were seeking the fundamental ethical values or principles that should drive our action in the world.

At it’s heart, the Talmud is more than a collection of laws and legal decisions, and the point of studying it is less about the details of the specific case than it is about training your moral instincts; it teaches you how to think critically about the ethical and moral principles behind the determinations and apply them in your own life. In this way, the Talmud is profoundly instructive even for those of us who aren’t intending to become rabbinic scholars.

I suggest we apply a similar process now. I’m not suggesting that we all become rabbis furiously debating into the wee hours, but that we look deeply at what we are being faced with and what is being asked of us, and determine what our values are and how to apply them. Like the rabbis, we cannot blindly or loyally pick one side or another, but rather must teach ourselves to think critically and explore what we see, hear, believe and value from many angles, seeking the deepest root values and principles.

Let’s say you read an article or post about a current event or situation, and you find yourself with a position: this is good, this is bad; this is right, this is wrong. Rather than taking what the writer says as absolute fact or truth, you need to become a critical reader. You need to question your sources and those of the writer’s…and question your own knowledge and assumptions. Why do you believe what you believe? On what basis? You need to determine what underlying value you hold that makes you judge something a certain way. What if you are wrong? Read another side or viewpoint. Get out of your bubble. Then see if your judgment changes. If it doesn’t, why? What is the value at work for you?

This isn’t just about media literacy. This is a critical thinking process you can apply to every situation in your life and every value you profess to hold. For example, if I say I value compassion, I need to be clear about why I believe that, what it means, to whom compassion is offered (or not), and what that looks like in practice. Or, if equality is a principle that I hold to be true, why do I value it, what does it really mean, and does it mean equality for all, or only some? Are there situations in which equality might not be applicable? Or, if I decide forgiveness is a value I hold, I have to decide what it means, who and what can be forgiven or can’t be, and why. What does forgiveness look like in practice, and, for that matter, is it my job to forgive in the first place?

This is not an easy exercise. It’s no easier than reading the Talmud, but just as important. First of all, we don’t always know what we value until we come to a situation where we have to decide. But that’s not the best way: it’s better to have a clear idea BEFORE you are being called on to act in accordance with your values. (That’s why the rabbis spent 500 years figuring it all out; so we would have a manual to consult).

Moreover, it’s not always fun to discover what really, truly matters to you and what you are willing to do about it (or not). I can tell you from my own experience that it can be really uncomfortable to see that what you thought you valued and how you embodied those values may not be aligned with what you really value or what you are being called to do. You may have to reassess, and that can produce all kinds of feelings like shame, guilt, and doubt. But this is how we grow. If we hope to live in integrity with our deepest held values, we have to go through this process – individually and collectively.

And today, it’s even more crucial. We are at a turning point – spiritually, morally, politically. If we don’t know who we are – what matters to us, what we value, and if/how we bring those values to our everyday actions – we are unlikely to bring about the world we want to live in. As writer George Monbiot has said, “Never underestimate the power of intrinsic values. They inspire every struggle for a better world.”

As the Talmud teaches us, we are the rabbis, now. The text is what we are presented with each day, whether in the media or our own experience, and it’s our job to wrestle, to interpret and to decide what our values are — who we are and who we will become— and how we enact them. Our future depends on it.

I’d like to suggest this as our theme for the month. Here’s a way to start exploring your values: use the image above as a prompt. Grab some sticky notes and start making an image board of your own core values. From there, start exploring.

If we are to go forward, we must go back and rediscover those precious values - that all reality hinges on moral foundations and that all reality has spiritual control. -- Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.