Y is for (Radical) Yes
Don't be a Two-Year-Old
In many spiritual traditions, there is a practice in which a selected scriptural passage becomes the theme for the week. At Radical Spirituality, we do the same thing, but in a radical way.
Each Sunday, I offer The ABC’s of Radical Spirituality, a single, simple word distilled from the common principles of all the world’s faith and wisdom teachings that serves as the exploration for the week. They are the roots of Radical Spirituality. And because I am that person, the words are in alphabetical order. We start with A and go to Z.
It’s a simple practice to get to the roots of what matters on our spiritual path. The best part is that you will get out of it what you put into it. If you just keep the word on a sticky-note on your computer, it will still work it’s magic. But to dig deeper, delve in, dive in, and see what you find.
Y is for (Radical) Yes
To say yes to life is not only meaningful under all circumstances - because life itself is - but also possible under all circumstances. - Viktor E. Frankl, Yes to Life: In Spite of Everything
Yes! Yeehaw! Bring it on! Let’s do this! YES!! In every tradition, we are instructed to say “Yes,” to life, to what is, to God and the glory that is Existence itself. We shout out Hallelujah! L’Chaim! In sha’allah! Saying “Yes” is the way we accept the gift we have been given and honor the giver. Yes is accepting the invitation to the party…and doing your best to have a good time.
But all too often, our first response is “No!” Like two-year-olds, we resist and pout. We don’t like this. We don’t like that. We want this to be different. We want that to change. We judge everything, including ourselves, and find it lacking. Stomping our feet on the ground, throwing our fist into the air, hurling ourselves to the floor in a tantrum, we cry out, “No, no, no, no, no!”
No is fear. Yes is love. No is resistance. Yes is acceptance. There is a saying: “Anything you resist persists.” If we are unable to accept life as it is, the world as it is, God/Source/the Divine as it is, and ourselves as we are, we are destined to struggle. As Buddhist teacher Charlotte Joko Beck once said, “The one thing in life you can always rely on: Life being what it is.”
When we say “No,” we effectively shut ourselves off from the possibilities of beauty, joy, goodness, celebration, and love. When fear runs the show, love has no place to go. In a world of No, life is cruel, painful, and ugly. Just take a look around.
Yes isn’t acquiescing or resignation. It isn’t giving in, but it is a form of surrender. It’s letting go of fighting with life, with others, and with yourself and allowing everything to be what it is. You don’t have to like it, but you can’t change it until you first accept it.
When we say “Yes” to how the world is, and not “No,” things flow. We may not like how it flows, but as my teacher, Lao Zhi Chang, said, “The Dao will Dao, no matter what you think about it.”
Put down the sword. Drop the fight. Just say “Yes” and let love flow!
This week, we explore Yes. Where are we accepting and where are we resisting. Why?
Deeper Roots
Every spiritual tradition teaches the importance of acceptance, or saying Yes!, to ease suffering, bring freedom or liberation, and bring us closer to the Divine. Both the Torah and The New Testament teach the value of Yes. Abraham, Moses, Job, and many other biblical characters and prophets are constantly taught to accept the will of God—or the way things are—whether they like it or not. Jesus also repeatedly taught his followers to accept God’s will, even if they don’t understand it: “Not my will, but thine.” In Arabic, one of the most common sayings is “In sha’allah,” or “If it be Allah’s Will.” In other words, things are what they are or will be what they will be. God will God.
Indigenous traditions also remind us that we are not in control and don’t get to decide how things go. We can petition for assistance, but things are what they are because Great Spirit has willed it so, and we need to accept that. By accepting it, we also see the Divine’s hand in everything. In all these traditions, acceptance, or saying Yes!, leads to faith and trust. We have faith or trust that things are what they are and will be what they will be because the Divine is in charge, not us.
Hindu teachings also stress the importance of accepting the world exactly as it is, without our preconditioned beliefs or expectations so that we may observe and experience Brahman, or Ultimate Reality. For Daoists, accepting the natural beingness and movement of everything, unclouded by discrimination, distinctions, and names, brings us closer to understanding the formless Dao. In these traditions, the emphasis is on acceptance, or Yes, as a means of achieving greater knowledge of and unity with the Divine Mystery at the root of everything.
The Buddha taught that the primary reason for suffering is non-acceptance, or saying, “No.” We suffer because we want things to be different than they are. He said that our desire for things to be different and our attachment to desire causes us to be dissatisfied and unhappy. We either want things to change or want them not to change, and that’s the problem. If we can let go of our desires and our attachment to those desires and accept things as they are, especially their impermanence, we won’t suffer—as much.
Radical Acceptance, a term in modern psychology (and the name of a book by psychologist and meditation teacher Tara Brach), says that while you may not be able to change the facts of a situation or a person or yourself, you can choose how you view them, and viewing everything with acceptance and equanimity is the key to psychological health. Just say “Yes!” You don’t have to like it but let go of resisting it.
The benefits of Yes on the spiritual path are many: less pain and suffering, greater ease, better relationships, more ability to see the beauty, joy, and goodness in the world, gratitude, faith, trust, and ultimately, a deeper understanding and experience of the Divine.
Reflection Questions
What does Yes mean to me?
Where do I experience Yes in my life?
What prevents me from saying “Yes?”
How can I practice saying “Yes,” and not “No?”
Suggested Practice
This week, practice saying Yes. Notice when you are in resistance or fear and allow yourself to trust that everything is exactly as it should be and you can drop the fight.
Surrender is the inner transition from resistance to acceptance, from no to yes. - Eckhart Tolle
Yes Lauryn!🙌🏽🥰